This week, we are in Chicago visiting Eric's family. They (especially Lois) are so helpful, wanting to feed Garrett, change his diapers, put him to sleep, carry him...all things that I am blessed to do on a daily basis. I really enjoy the break from some of my responsibilities (don't we all enjoy a break from work sometimes?), but I have to admit...it's hard to share. (It's also hard to share with my family. I just want to point out I'm not biased.)
When I was a teacher, I would get substitutes when I went out of town or to a training or what-have-you. I enjoyed coming back to my students to hear that they missed me. I guess it's the same when I share my son with others (even with Eric sometimes!). I cherish how excited he gets when he sees me, and I miss doing those seemingly mundane tasks.
I love all of my responsibilities in this new job. (I feel guilty a lot because of how this job is different from an outside-of-home job...it just seems too easy sometimes, even with all of the challenges. That's a whole other post, though...) I love changing his diapers and figuring out ways to distract him from flipping over or peeing on me. I love love LOVE nursing Garrett. I love being patient with him as he eats solids and gets distracted. I love cuddling him just before I put him down for a nap. I love carrying him in the baby carrier where I can kiss his face whenever I want. I love it all.
But I have to share sometimes. For some reason, others love this kid, too.
Sharing is intentional. It takes effort to share.
But isn't that the point of life? Sharing what we are blessed with so others can share that joy as well?
(Am I the only one who finds it hard to share my kid? Is this weird?)
3 comments:
laura,this is so insightful, especially to a grandmother who loves her grandchildren. thank you for putting in words how hard it is for a mom to sometimes share! i love it that you and others that i love, love their job of mothering so much! love you! xoxo, aunt karen
I couldn't have said it better myself, Laura! It IS hard to share one of the most wonderful, precious, and challenging gifts you have ever been given - kind of like sharing your favorite baby doll when you were little?? I was never very good at that... ;)
It's really hard for me to share, too. I feel like I'm in a little bit of a different situation, but I totally understand. A lot of moms just want to 'get away' for a break on the weekends, but I pretty much never want to bc I want every minute I can with the kiddos. I'm not with them enough!!! But it is hard when you want those special moments all to yourself and you don't want to share them. That's why I've been so emotional about nursing I guess. Yesterday, B bit me. We both cried!!!! It didn't hurt that bad, really. I was crying bc I was afraid it was the beginning of the end (I hope not. I'm not ready!!!) And he cried bc mom has never yelled at him before...which broke my heart a second time. I digress... No, you're not the only one. I still feel that way with H and would rather walk around the block with him on his tricycle than just about anything else! ;) Sweet, precious memories!!!
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